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The Ultimate Guide to Facesitting Pleasure Control and Intimacy in the Bedroom

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Facesitting is a bold and intimate sexual position that blends power dynamics, trust, and raw physical pleasure into one exhilarating experience. Often labeled as a form of domination for the partner on top and submission for the one lying below, facesitting opens up a new realm of sensation and closeness. Whether you’re exploring new territories in your relationship or already well-versed in different sexual positions, facesitting provides an opportunity to reverse traditional roles, allowing the person on top to control the experience entirely. In this guide, we’ll dive deep into what facesitting is, how it’s done, its appeal, and tips to ensure a pleasurable, comfortable experience for both partners.

What Is Facesitting?

Simply put, facesitting is a sexual position in which one partner, often the woman, straddles their partner’s face, giving them complete control over the pace, pressure, and movements of the act. The person on their back, typically the man, pleasures their partner orally by stimulating the vulva, clitoris, or anus, depending on the couple’s preference.

This position can serve as a powerful way to deepen intimacy and trust in a relationship. The dynamics involved often push the boundaries of typical sexual roles, allowing the submissive partner to focus entirely on the dominant partner’s pleasure.

The Appeal of Facesitting

Facesitting has grown in popularity, and for good reason. It offers a unique blend of control, dominance, and submission that many couples find incredibly exciting. Let’s break down some of the key reasons why this position holds such allure:

  1. Empowerment for the Dominant Partner: Facesitting puts the partner on top in total control, allowing them to dictate the pace, pressure, and areas of focus. This position can make the person sitting feel empowered, as they guide their partner’s movements and responses. It’s a role reversal for many couples, offering the dominant partner an opportunity to explore their sexual power.
  2. Submission for the Partner on Bottom: For those who enjoy submission, facesitting allows them to fully surrender control. This position requires trust, as the partner on the bottom literally places their pleasure—and breathing—in the hands of their partner. Submissive partners often enjoy the act of providing pleasure without being able to dictate the experience, intensifying the power dynamic.
  3. Heightened Sensory Experience: Facesitting offers a direct and intense level of stimulation for both partners. The person on top feels everything from their partner’s tongue, lips, and breath, making the sensation more intense than other positions. For the partner on the bottom, being completely enveloped by their partner’s body heightens the experience of giving oral pleasure.
  4. Versatility: Facesitting can be adapted to suit the comfort level and preferences of both partners. From different angles and directions to various levels of pressure and intensity, this position can be fine-tuned to match each partner’s desires.

How to Perform Facesitting The Basics

If you’re new to facesitting, the idea might seem a little daunting at first, but it’s actually simpler than it sounds. Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of how to ease into this powerful position.

1. Start With Comfort

Before diving into facesitting, it’s important to ensure both partners are comfortable. The partner on the bottom should lie flat on their back, either on the bed or a soft surface. Pillows can be used to support the head, making it easier for them to angle their face upward.

The person on top should start by straddling their partner’s chest, allowing them to get used to the idea and the position before moving higher up. It also gives them an opportunity to find their balance and gauge how much weight they’re placing on their partner. Communication at this stage is essential to ensure both partners feel safe and relaxed.

2. Positioning

Once both partners are comfortable, the dominant partner can move their body upwards to the desired position. Facesitting offers two primary ways to sit:

  • Facing Forward (towards the partner’s feet): In this variation, the dominant partner faces their partner’s feet. This provides an excellent angle for clitoral and vulva stimulation, giving the person on top a direct view of their partner’s body. It also allows for anal stimulation if that’s something both partners are interested in exploring.
  • Facing Backward (towards the partner’s head): This position has the dominant partner facing their partner’s head, with their body angled toward their partner’s chest. This variation offers more control over depth and the areas of focus, such as the clitoris or anus, and allows the dominant partner to fully take charge of the situation.

3. Adjust for Pleasure

One of the greatest aspects of facesitting is that the partner on top has complete control over how much pressure they apply. They can lower themselves for a deeper, more intense sensation or rise slightly to lessen the pressure and focus on teasing.

Movement is also key. The dominant partner can rock back and forth, allowing their partner’s tongue to stimulate different areas. Shifting weight and changing the angle adds variety and prevents the position from feeling monotonous.

Tips for Beginners

While facesitting is an exciting and empowering position, it can be physically demanding for both partners. For beginners, here are a few tips to help ensure the experience is comfortable and enjoyable:

  1. Start Slow: If you’re new to facesitting, it’s important to start slow and build up confidence. Instead of jumping straight into a full-on squat position, the dominant partner can begin by kneeling over their partner’s face. This puts less strain on the legs and gives the partner on the bottom time to get used to the sensation.
  2. Communicate Constantly: Communication is crucial, especially if you’re new to facesitting. The partner on top should check in with their partner to ensure they’re comfortable and can breathe easily. This can be as simple as asking for a thumbs-up signal during the act or using a pre-arranged word if something doesn’t feel right.
  3. Support Your Weight: For those who aren’t used to squatting or sitting for prolonged periods, facesitting can put strain on the legs and thighs. Using pillows to support your weight or holding onto the headboard can make the experience more comfortable. Additionally, resting on your partner’s chest for short breaks helps prevent fatigue.
  4. Keep It Short and Sweet: At the beginning, facesitting can be physically intense, so it’s important not to overdo it. Start with short sessions and gradually increase the duration as you both become more comfortable with the position. This ensures that both partners can fully enjoy the experience without feeling overwhelmed or strained.
  5. Mind the Orgasms: Achieving orgasm during facesitting can be a powerful experience for the person on top, but it also requires caution. Intense orgasms can cause loss of control, and the partner on top might accidentally put too much pressure on their partner’s face. To avoid this, consider shifting to a less intense position just before climax or be prepared to support your weight during those moments.

Facesitting vs. Pussy Smothering: Understanding the Difference

Facesitting is often confused with a BDSM practice called pussy smothering, but the two are quite different in intent and execution. While facesitting focuses on pleasure and oral stimulation, pussy smothering is a more extreme form of sexual control and domination where the goal is to deprive the submissive partner of oxygen.

Pussy smothering falls under the category of breath play, which is a form of BDSM that involves restricting breathing to heighten arousal. This practice requires a high level of trust, communication, and experience, as it can be dangerous if not done properly. Facesitting, on the other hand, is far less extreme and is centered on providing pleasure through oral stimulation.

If you’re curious about breath play but not ready to dive into the world of pussy smothering, you can experiment by having the dominant partner sit on the submissive partner’s chest instead of their face. This allows the submissive partner to feel the weight and control of their dominant partner without compromising their ability to breathe comfortably.

Facesitting and the Importance of Communication

As with any sexual activity that involves power dynamics, communication is key to a successful facesitting experience. Both partners should feel free to express their desires, boundaries, and limits. Here are some ways to ensure open communication:

  • Establish Safe Words or Signals: Before beginning facesitting, it’s helpful to establish a safe word or signal that the submissive partner can use if they feel uncomfortable or need to stop. A safe word can be anything agreed upon in advance, while a signal like tapping the dominant partner’s leg can work when verbal communication isn’t possible.
  • Ongoing Check-ins: Throughout the act, it’s important to check in with your partner. While the dominant partner has control, they should be mindful of their partner’s breathing and comfort level. A quick “Are you okay?” can go a long way in maintaining a safe and enjoyable experience.
  • Post-Session Discussion: After trying facesitting, it’s beneficial to have a conversation about what worked and what didn’t. Discussing what felt good and where there’s room for improvement helps both partners grow more comfortable with the position.

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